probably a little confused

When I was 15 years old my mother threw my stereo out of the second story window. She said I was bringing demons into the house through the music I chose to play. I had always been aware of another reality. At times I saw the world we know as only a paper thin covering over something underneath, something of greater substance yet somehow tied to all we know. I also believed in God and devils, but thought of them as existing in some realm infinitely detached from ours, not intimately connected and active in it. The idea that devils just pop up wherever the right music plays was plainly ridiculous, especially coming from a mother that had asked me for some pot the week before. Angry, frustrated and probably a little confused, I stormed out of the house. My analytical mind would not withdraw from the conflict without being satisfied as to how a rational or even an irrational person could arrive at such conclusions. My mother had not made the statement lightly; she knew it. This troubled me. Eliminating every assumption, I considered whether it could be true. Insanity. The implications of her statement actually being correct were incalculable.

Walking down the street about half a block from my house, I threw up my arms and said, “If this is real, SHOW ME.”

“Call unto me, and I will answer you and show great and mighty things that you know not of.” Jeremiah 33:3

I had been embracing darkness, inviting destruction into every area of my life. I had sung countless incantations calling forth every evil imaginable and summoned devils again and again, never knowing the serious nature of the ‘good tunes’ I had listened to so many times. In the weeks immediately following my request, I heard several songs I had listened to numerous times, hearing for the first time the spirit at work in them, and coming to know the purpose they served in enslaving the children of God.